03.31.20 No Trades: Month in Review

Overall I'm happy with the month I put together but I'm incredibly disappointed with the draw down I took on the 4th. I went on tilt and it just crushed my P&L and confidence. On the 5th I took a normal loss but after the day I had on the 4th I really felt defeated and it compounded my mental ability to trade. The 6th there were no trades on my radar but I wonder how much my mental fatigue played a roll in "not seeing any setups." I shut off my P&L completely sometime around the 10th, which is when I started pulling my P&L out of the gutter. I definitely like not knowing at all where I'm at in my P&L.

I've been debating scaling up but after reviewing my performance as a trend from the beginning of the month to the end I'm not certain it's the right thing to do. I've also been debating to what scale I should be sizing up. Right now I'm only implementing .027% risk in my trades and in reality, I should be putting on 1%. I don't want to jump right up to 1% because I know I'll suffer mentally if my first couple trades are losers. Even if my P&L is shut off I'll know the dollar amount and it'll eat at me; it may only be 1% of my account, which sounds small and with perspective is, but I don't come from money and the money I have I'm not eager to lose. My account size is probably larger than it should be for where I'm at in my skill set so I'm trying to as though the money in the account is less than it is. Anyhow, I'm going to sleep on where my risk is and whether or not I'm going to size up. I may double my risk for April, which is still only .054% of my account size and a dollar amount I can swallow losing if I fall off the rails. The major thing I need to keep in focus is not going on tilt and shutting it down if I get worked up. The proof is in the pudding for March - one or two days of nonsense will crush the entire month. It's not worth trading on tilt.